yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
