When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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