if i can run in heels then i can drive
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
