i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
