you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
