You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
