Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
