Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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