I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
