What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
