That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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