The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
