just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
