Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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