So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
