is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
