I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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