Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
