this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
