you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
