Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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