I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
My boob is missing a layer of skin
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
