having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
She told me I should be a condom model.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
