i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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