Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
