That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize
