Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Randomize
