absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
