Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
She's the barista slut.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
