Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
