You're so nebulous sometimes
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
