he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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