In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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