How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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