you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
