For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
