why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Randomize
