Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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