I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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