you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
