I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
