i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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