I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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