the day after is always just damage control
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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