A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
