The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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