i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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