Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Randomize
