Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
