This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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