i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
