i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
