what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Too much gin, very little bucket
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
