My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Girls should come with a carfax report
why do cheetos always look like penises
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
